Movie - In her shose

Letter from SH
Watched another movie this evening and 2 poems catches my seight,
this could be a way for me to learn more about English and also the reason why I try to "trace" it from the web could probably because that is somehow tells the way I want to express, in the past, present or maybe in the future.  It's a wish...wish some day i might be able use my own words to tell you how it felt for these passing days.

I thank the god that you are there and i remained this channel to "say" ...
===================================

i carry your heart with me  by e. e cummings, 1958



i carry your heart with me


(i carry it in my heart)


i am never without it


(anywhere i go you go, my dear;


and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)



i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want


no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)


and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant


and whatever a sun will always sing is you


here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud


and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)


and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Stream in Youtube
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One Art -- by Elizabeth Bishop



The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.


I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love)

I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Her question mark, why?

Letter from SH..

Trying to keep my brain focusing on something, and I watched another movie this evening. It's about the era around Nazi. 

The sence that caught my breath is the little girl had no choice being born in that era and in the family that was marked by the Nazi.  She asked " why people hates me? what did I do?"  Life rarely gave us the answer until we have gone though it.

There's always quetion about why life treat us in this way, unless the time passed, unless we got old, we would never be able to know the reason why the footprints need to be arranged in this way.

I do admire this woman who can help so much lifes during that black period with determination and with no fear.

At the very begining, I am kind of confused by an American actress dubbing with German and not until the very end of the movie, I saw Ireny herself talking on the screen, I realized why Anna Paquin will be the main character. To me, they have similar eyes when smile.

Dzieci Ireny Sendlerowej (The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiTaR2Qy4sQ

Line that marked by SH - Moive Beautifl Kate

Man can live in the whole life and never coped his greatest achieve... From the movie Beautiful Kate

Where did we being trapped?
The reality or the mind or just things can't fine a right time to disclose?
Dialogue about the feeling keeps 2 persons apart from distance.

What's going to be?

Letter from SH


剛從透進光的窗戶望出去，綠意山景，還有藍天白雲的背景，一個值得微笑的view，帶著好心情，從床舖開始這一天未知的旅程。這裡的每一天，都端著不同的驚奇，有時候，可以照著思緒，照著想要的預計，跨步出去。有時候，那些心裡頭打算，就只是模擬的狀態而以，一些理由，暫時取消了原本該走的行程，只因為，沒有那個動力。

如果拿這些與人對話，最常收到的問號，如下：為什麼？怎麼會？如何？

若這些答案可以在問號畫完前，完整的列好，過陣子，你也無須再收到這些但著一種意興闌珊的文字和符號訊息。對你和我，都是一種釋放吧，我想！接觸變少，不是故意，或許那是一種等待，等待著某一個轉變的來臨，有機會嘗試，再嘗試。有人說，平靜下來會看到一些扭轉的線索，也許，自己也在等待那個似乎不知怎麼就硬被帶走的線索。或者，有時候我問的是，會有這樣的線索嗎？I really don't know.

對於這個空，和這份靜默，就獻給這一段被外星人劫走的時空，隨著星空，跟著月圓，遠走。那兒，也才能看到跨越國界，沒有框際的時空，有我，還有那無須再掀起的call。There is no call, only the echo penetrated in solo.

Judge

當敘述過程被簡單的conclusion作頓號，
接續的內容有時會重得連搬出來的情況都還更hard，
不懂有人對話裡說著不是要評價，
但聆聽敘述時，又會有從自我價值評價的說法，
如此，從同一個發話者的發送狀態，
該如何的讓這個現象reveal？

如果身邊充斥著這樣的對話內容，
那又是一種看似透明，但實質沉重的背包吧？

快，讓背包裡的荷重物，離開！

if

Friends talking about dharma, what is it?

While people talking about dharma, is it already being a part of it?

I am lost in the cosmos dharma, will I being found someday?

Hope so...cross my fingers and pray.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ1JAuBeVAE&feature=related

Movie - Lemon Tree

剛看完一部中東故事的電影，檸檬樹。點選它，是因為"為真實故事改編"的字樣。

對於中東的文化禮俗是全然的陌生，但人的模樣卻是熟悉的，至少世界的許多角落，有這些人們的落腳處。


故事是從一位以色列國防部長入新居後，由於"對國家安全有重大影響"的理由，需要砍伐鄰家巴勒斯坦寡婦-薩瑪的父親就開始種植的檸檬果樹。喜歡在故事裡，將中東人們對於婚姻、禮教等，在生活中無名的約束，透過故事情節娓娓而說。


薩瑪執意要對砍伐樹林的命令作抗爭，因而結識女婿的律師朋友。對以巴之關係的印象，就不如對中東人明顯輪廓帶點神秘感那樣的深刻。平常在新聞裡偶爾會聽到，但卻像是一則與自己不知怎麼連上關係的訊息，淡淡的經過耳際，當訊息說完，也沒了印象。


某一日，律師因為宵禁無法回到原本住處，而寄宿在薩瑪家。隔幾日後，平常根本不常來訪的薩瑪岳父，特別到家裡來表達關心，不是對於檸檬果園，不是對於她的生活近況，是一段段越來越嚴厲，彷彿他是主持神聖規則的教主，特地來提醒薩瑪，不要玷污了她已故丈夫的名譽。在這當刻，一種無形沉重的枷鎖，在對話間沉盪了下來，就重重的壓在胸口讓人喘步過氣來的那種沉甸感。


檸檬樹的議題在媒體間討論了起來，也引起國外媒體的留意。女主角在第一次抗告失敗，法院裁決在國防部部長圍籬外的檸檬樹區，要用鐵柵欄圍起，不能有任何人進入。薩瑪決心上訴到最高法，而圍起鐵網的作業，也在裁決後幾天便開始進行。檸檬樹在隔離之中，逐漸的枯萎。境頭帶到國防部長與夫人間的無法對話，關係間帶有一種無力感，也許是落寞，或者是些許的憂鬱，不在表情上的表現，而是放在兩者對話的無法tune到相同頻道。


還有什麼比心理上的枷鎖，還來的有緊扣栓鎖，足以讓人舉手投足間，完全的圈盪在其中。

Waves to the past

my hands, waving.
Waving to the past and present,
waving to what I have said,
waving to the idiot things I've done,
waving to the inconceivable events that have happend,
waving to the sweet promises that have been said,
waving to the memories that still running in the head.


Left them in the dark night, to the half moon,
to the stars that far far away,
leave to the palm tree in the island in the middle of Mediterranean,
leave to the dumbs that still keeps them in hands.


Bye to the past, and there need a ceremony to complete the farewell.

Is she better?

Got her message, kind of relief. But at the same time still worried about the situation..is she better?


這是個難以說明的情境，深淵的沉落，哪是一句話，一個想法，或者是一段時間就可以跨越過去，生命裡的黑狗像陰影般的跟隨，其來有理，只是那理字在這樣的時空裡，只能深埋在層層包裹的思緒裡。




希望能和身邊的好友們說聲對不起，因為沉靜，並非表面的狀態而已，還有一種更結構性的毀滅在衝盪著基底。I am sorry, my dear!連自己也不知道為什麼，把真心交付出去後，會成了一種束縛住自己的圈頸。像是進了黑洞那種完全空靜，然後連意義也全都送了出去。




看著週遭發生的事情，理當不應該如此的脆裂，不該輕易的放棄，但生命怎是一字"理"可以說明。或者這正是個補充期，需要一段時間的深呼吸，在太陽裡，在黑夜裡，在如何經過一個人也可以的寂靜，這些當一段時日的經過，而仍然像鐘擺班活著的時候，也許那時候我才懂得，最簡單的意義其實就是可以入氣吐氣，然後微笑的看著遠方那曾經，體會這些經歷的腳步，是這樣的必需，這樣的需要隨心所欲，這樣的讓人耗盡體力回復到原點的起始區。




必須崇敬這造物者的神奇，就這一來一往的空氣，稀薄的對話，交流的文字哩，也可以這樣讓人倒抽一口氣，停滯在一種踏無底的懸空境地。連嘶吼都瞬時吸淨，就僅留存在在空間哩，獨自無聲的抖動啜泣。一種愛無法説出的扭曲，就在一年的某一個時刻，再一次的，狠狠的被藤抽、啃食，在無言中觀顧著這樣的事情，是否還會深裂著那一份未曾先保護自己的簡單而已。




其實，我很想問為什麼？但這三個字母的辭彙，不知道該由誰回答才是最終的角落...或者，在回覆之前，我已不想再留。可以這樣就走？就說累了，該走。

What if

A friend of mine went to an island vacation in Tailand. That just remind me there's a long while I didn't escape from the place i am used to be.  How long will it take to establish the stereotype of perception or expectation? and how long does it take to get rid of it?


If days can't find a way to switch the point of view, will the thought become as stubborn as concrete or it depends? Probably  I can't even stand for myself to become a concrete in thought. but what if the environment around me toward that direction....?

The Last Station - Story about Leo Tolstoy

I knew his name of a famous ideologist or someone would call him a thinker. With bad memory of the names, I can rarely link the work and the authors, therefore, I didn't link Tolstoy with War and Peace, or Anna Karenina until I started reading his peom. The movie played in the afternoon. I knew a little about the background about Tolstoy but not much about his family and late life.

The reason intrested me to know more about how his life was is the curiosity of how those great people balancing their life in realistic and idealistic.  Such as practical material world and to a world that is ideally utopia.  Maybe I am intrested in understanding how a human can cope the two extrems in a mid-way.

Pretty much love with the dialogues while his friends aruging...

Cross my fingers

I need some luck to turn the dark into light gray


Cross my fingers, waiting for the calls


Maybe the ringing brings a grin, maybe it sends the lost


I don't know what should I expect


not until the answering button have been push


not until the "hello" have been said


the message that it set to be dlivered


that would never being told and heard

Fallen Apart

~Shared by a friend~

If that can be narrated as a story,

then it won't be as hurt as this.

If that can be express in words,

then there would be some place to save.

If that can be chant into melody,

then I would no longer stay in gray.

=================================
There's a sudden thought coming up to my mind

A waving to the past and a farewell to the "have been"

I am not sure how much I can stand

Maybe one day, you will be trapped by the stairs you've made

At that time, I can only be the witness from  distance away

Probably I may spare some love to the human with you,

if I am generous enough and able to take them all

Probably I am still going through the  healing period

and also need the input of the care from outsider

So, I can only stare at what all these happend, just as what you left me

made me falling from the top of the high building and break the heart into pieces

And I even need to find the adhesive myself and glued the pieces all alone

PEM, enjoy the sorrow you've bring me

Probably one day, probably some day, 

you will be suffered by the unconcernd expressing of the love you've expressed

or maybe that course would need to be taken in the next round,

and people who knew the story already left and ran away

怎麼回事？

走過擺著零碼鞋款的柏肯店面，
逐一個看著單腳朝外的款式，
順手端了靠左邊的鞋款，
想比一比兩個模樣的差異，
一路跟著走動方向移動的店員，
看著手上的單腳鞋被移動到另一隻鞋旁，
啥也沒說的，便把那換了地方的鞋子，
迅速移回原本的位子。

那時候，我在想，這是怎麼回事，
這年頭的孩子，都是這樣的一個冷漠回應的服務嗎？
突然間，跟這個主流世代的互動有了一種鴻溝，
不知道是自己太過敏感，
還是這樣的服務本來就少了一種暖和，
或者是在來回互動之間，其實不用想太多...